You Might Be a Nurse if...
- when using a public restroom, you wash your hands with soap for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows.
-- when you tell a man you meet for the first time you're a nurse, you're expected to laugh hysterically when he asks you for a sponge bath, as if it was the most original and wittiest thing you've ever heard.
-- your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a patient's bedside and tell a doctor to clean it up.
-- men assume you must be great in bed because of the 9 billion porn movies about nurses.
-- everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache and pain they have.
-- you want to put your foot through the TV screen every time you see a nurse on a soap opera doing nothing but talking on the phone and flirting with doctors.
-- you can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
-- you can watch the goriest movie and eat anything afterwards, even spaghetti with lots of tomato sauce.
-- you use a plastic 30cc medicine cup for a shot glass.
Copyright (1997,1999, 2000,2002, 2003, 2004)
Michael Seaver, RN, EMT-P
